Back to two

Everybody left for home this afternoon.  The rush of last minute shopping, packing, getting to the airport and checking in meant that we didn't have time to think about the goodbye until the moment we arrived at the departure gate. 

It was almost like the scene from back in May when I had to say goodbye to them.  I didn't think I was going to cry but I did.  We did.  It hit my sister the hardest because we had such a great time together here.  The ten days we were together made it seem like we've never been apart.  We spent the whole time together and the long, slow days here made it seem longer than just ten days.  And after being together, we hated to have to be apart again.

This time, though, it's a bit better because Pete is here with me.  At least I could hug him for comfort.  We stood huddled together as we tried to catch glimpses of my family as they went past the security check, waving at them when they turned back to look at us and stayed as long as we could before they walked towards their boarding gate.

I was not in a hurry to go home to the empty apartment so we had a leisurely lunch and walked around the park near town.  The walk helped a little.  We passed by more places to bring them and we started to look forward to their next visit.  Looking ahead, and not thinking about what I'll miss about them made me feel so much better.  I'm still sad that my family is 9,924km away again, but I know that we will see each other again some day.

I am home

I am home.  

The moment I stepped off the plane, I knew where to go, how long it’ll take at the immigration - which was always a brief, cursory glance at my face and then a quick stamp on my passport – and where Pete would be waiting for me.

When Pernilla drove us across the Öresundsbron, I could see the flat, green fields and the blue sky of Malmö.  I knew in a few minutes, I’d be greeted by the strong, cold winds as I walk up to the door leading to our apartment.  

And sure enough, my teeth were chattering as I waited for Pete to unlock the main door for us to get into the building.  We waited patiently for the old elevator to make its way down and loaded up my suitcases and bags and soon we’re in the cosy lil’ apartment, where some of my stuff are already waiting for me.

I am home.

But it wasn’t an easy journey.  It was so very difficult to leave my old home of 37 years.  Not the place.  I wouldn’t really miss the place much.  But I couldn’t bear to leave my family and friends.  The scene back at the airport that I left behind was hard to replay in my head.  But that was what I kept remembering throughout the 12hour flight, which explains my swollen eyes at the end.

It was especially hard to leave my mum and sister.  I guess we girls are very close.  I can’t even write about them now without tearing up.  Yes. The wounds are still fresh.  

I didn’t expect to cry as much when I was saying goodbye to my aunts, cousins and friends, though.  And I didn’t expect them to cry that much either.  I know I’ll miss all of them.  We have all shared many, many memories but I never expected them to be so affected by my move.  I guess I didn’t expect that this decision I’ve made with Pete could affect other people as well.  

But we all must look ahead.  They have to get used to doing things without me.  And I…I have plenty more things to adjust to.  Though the changes I will be going through could and would be tough, I know I can do it because I have my Pete with me. 

Yes.  I am home.