Here is summer

We have been having real warm, beautiful, sunny days for almost a week now.  The sun has been shining throughout the day and it gets so warm in the apartment that we have had to use the fan and open the windows to let the cool wind in.  Days like these, it's much better to be outdoors instead.  It's very windy here and this is the only time I appreciate the strong winds.  As Pete and I go on our walks, the winds cool us down, even as the sun bore down on us.  As a result of being outdoors, I am finding my tan again.  Pete is also getting some colour on his skin, though most of it is on the back of his neck.  

Yesterday didn't start out too well, though.  It had been raining in the night and the rainy continued to drizzle in the early morning.  The day was cloudy, wet and grey and the winds were chilly.  Pete and I had plans with our friends.  We planned to join them on a dive that day.  They live in a town just outside of Malmö but they would drive here to dive sometimes.  We were to go with them and sit by the beach as we waited for them while they go into the water.  I guess you can say that we were to be a sort of safety team just in case something happens.

Luckily the weather cleared up and we continued as planned.  They picked us up and away we went to one of the city's dive spots.  The view was breathtaking - navy blue sea, rocky beach, and the Öresundsbron, the bridge that connects Sweden to Copenhagen, just in the distance to our left and the Turning Torso, another of Malmö's attractions, on our right.  It was very windy there but the sky was clear and the sun was shining.

Our friends suited up in their gear and after checking all equipment, they got into the water.  They planned to surface 45 minutes later so Pete and I spent the time walking among the rocks and sitting and chatting, while enjoying the view.  Back home, I have always enjoyed views of the sea whenever I go to the beach.  Living in a small island means that the sea and the beach is never far away, so sitting there and looking out in the water comforts me.  It made me feel like back home, except the view was different - I was looking at the shores of Denmark and not Malaysia.  The best thing is also that I was enjoying the view sweat-free, unlike back home, in the tropical heat.

Soon, our friends made it back safely.  They got out of their wet gear and packed up.  Understandably, they were ravenous so we had lunch and then back to our place for dessert and coffee. It's very nice to be outdoors and hang out with friends on such days.  We didn't have to worry about the rain or snow and we could stay outdoors for as long as we wished.  Summer is here and I do hope for more of such days.   

Year One

It's been a full year since I've made the huge step of moving here. I left behind my loving family, wonderful friends, loyal cats, rewarding job and a peaceful home to join my husband here, where I start with nothing. I have to learn a whole new language, adapt to the culture and literally find my bearings here.

Was it easy? I have to say "Yes" and "No". The first few weeks I took it easy. I left everything to Pete. He brought me around. I simply followed, opening my eyes wide to take in everything - the people, the places, the culture. Observing. That was the easy part. What made it easy was Pete. We are so lucky that we both speak a common language ( English, of course) very well and so it was easy to understand each other. He was always with me, explaining in detail every question that I had.

Also, since we established our relationship while we both were 9,000km apart for most of the time, being able to finally live together was wonderful. We stayed close to each other all the time and we held hands everywhere we go. We still do, so I guess the honeymoon period is still not over for us.

But after awhile, it started getting harder for me. From sharing a home with my parents, siblings and cats, I now share it with just one other person. The quiet was a bit hard to adjust to. I only have him to talk to when previously I would chat with my sister, be nagged at by my mum and fend off some attention seeking cats. But on the up side, the remote's all mine! I can watch whatever I wanted but the problem is the programs are all different. I missed all my food shows and they kept showing reruns of programs from way back in 2005. I missed MY cable tv!

I would listen to the radio in the kitchen as I cook. That's another big difference. Pete helped me set it to the Gold channel. Just like back home, they would play the oldies from the 60s - 90s. However, again here, they kept playing the same songs several times a day! I miss the radio channels back home.

Apart from having to adjust to this country, I also had an added stress - adjusting to married life. We had to adjust to living together. Just as how I had to adjust to living with just one other person, Pete had to adjust to sharing his apartment with me. He has been living alone for many years so it wasn't easy for him either. It was a bit rough in the beginning, but we have a lot of respect, patience and understanding for each other, not to mention that we love each other to bits. Whenever we faced issues, we would talk about them calmly. Sometimes we would talk about it over a couple of days until we finally work things out. That makes us understand and love each other even more.

Also, back home, I have lots of friends and I would hang out with them very often. Sometimes we would hang out until late, even. Ad no matter which of my friends I hang out with, we would have a lot of laughs. I'm not saying that Pete isn't fun. On the contrary. We share the same kind of humor and we would make each other laugh all the time. But it's not the same here since it's costly to go out to eat or watch movies. Pete is also the kind of guy who is happier staying at home than being out and he hates crowd. He does bring me out sometimes so that's fun but I have become more used to staying home now. It's fine by me since it is very comfortable at home. The weather outside could be too cold.

The weather! Another thing to adjust to. It was spring when I first moved here. I found it a bit chilly sometimes but I enjoyed spring and summer immensely. I also enjoyed the fall since I got to layer my clothes. Winter was awesome when it snowed but when the low temperatures felt like it was going on and on and I kept falling sick, I wished for the warmer weather back home.

On the whole though, it hasn't been too bad. Sometimes I would have bouts of homesickness. Then, I would either chat with my family or friends or just send them messages. I also enjoy meeting up with Pete's sisters and friends so we have been relatively social here. I also enjoy learning Swedish. My eyes light up when I learn new words and I feel a sense of satisfaction whenever I speak proper Swedish and am understood. That always surprises me since I think my accent prevents people of understanding me.

All in all, it has been a great first year. As I sit here and think about what I had gone through, I think about what was it that made me do it. How could I have simply left my old life? What was I thinking? Well, for me, the answer is simple - nothing. Just as how I worked out in the gym for hours everyday when I wanted to lose weight, or how I would wake up at 4am every weekend to train for a marathon. I would not think about it because the more I think, the more the doubts would creep in. I didn't allow the what-ifs to sneak into my head. After I decided that this would be the best thing for me, I summoned every ounce of courage I had and said goodbye to my old life.

Courage and faith. I had faith that things would be ok. And they are. I love it here and best of all, I am loved here too.

The best year

I must have jinxed it big time since the days after my last post, it snowed and the temperature dropped to -9C for the past few days.  No chance of chucking aside my winter jacket yet.

Anyway, that's that about the weather for now.  The more important event that happened yesterday was our very first wedding anniversary!  I really can't believe that it has been a year already.  I remember last year so vividly - the few months leading to the wedding were very stressful.

 It was really hard to plan a wedding when the other person was thousands of miles away.  There were lots to discuss - dates, outfits, food and location for the wedding dinner.  We had to plan everything through our FaceTime chats and countless of messages to and fro.  On top of that, the cultural differences made everything doubly hard since we both had different visions of how a wedding should be like.  It took a long time to explain to him how the Malay traditional wedding looks like, but in the end, we got everything sorted.

I did feel quite overwhelmed sometimes since he wasn't with me during most of the preparations.  He could only come over a week before the wedding.  However, with help, especially from my amazing family members and friends, we managed to pull it all off.  The wedding went smoothly and I think the guests were quite happy and well fed.  I was mentally and physically drained that day, but once we both were officially married, I relaxed and simply enjoyed the moment.

The year after the wedding, though, was one of the hardest I have had to face.  It was not difficult to say goodbye to Pete after our short honeymoon.  He had to go back home while I had to stay and sort stuff out before I moved to Sweden to join him.  I would see him in less than two months so it was manageable.

I didn't really have much time to say goodbye to my family and friends though.  The weeks flew by too fast.  I tried to spend as much time as I could with my family and closest relatives.  I tried to eat as much local foods that I know I would miss as I could.  I also took the time to pass on my recipes to my sister and mum, and learn my mum's recipes.

The last two weeks before my move, I had lots of friends to meet.  It seemed like I was out every night.  I never knew that I had so many friends. It felt like it was impossible to meet up with everyone, and I did miss meeting some.  Oh, and the packing!  There were lots that I wanted to bring with me but travelling alone meant that I had limited capacity so I had to leave behind lots of stuff.  I only had to bring what was important to me.  That was the hard part.  In the end, I had to be ruthless and only brought the stuff I needed.  I was lucky to have the foresight to start bringing my stuff over the last two times I visited Pete, so I didn't have as much to bring with me this time.

The scene at the airport was really tough to relive, even now, so I would skip that part.  Once I got to Sweden safe and sound, there were more things to cope with.  But our first priority was to spend time together.  With long-distance relationships, the time that couples like us got to spend together physically was very limited.  Although we became a couple for two years before we got married, we only spent a total of about two months together.

The first few weeks were great.  We were never far from each other and we would do everything together.  There were lots to do too, like redecorating the apartment, planning a wedding lunch for his family, getting the paperwork done and working on the garden.  However, we had some tough times.

Pete has been living on his own for most of his adult years and on the opposite side of the spectrum, I have never lived on my own.  And again, being brought up in two totally different countries make our experiences and expectations very different.  Something basic like throwing rubbish is done differently from what I am used to. I guess it's not hard to imagine how it was at the beginning.

We both had many things to learn about living with each other.  I had to learn about how things are done here.  He had to learn how to live with another person in the apartment.  It wasn't easy sometimes, but with every disagreement we had, we learn more and more about each other.  And that is a truly important thing.

Some of the most important lessons we have learnt is that we should never take each other for granted and that we could always talk with each other to figure things out.  I would say that we now understand each other even better but of course there would always be something more to learn.  But that's marriage, I guess.  Like everything else, it's not perfect.  We are both not perfect, so naturally our marriage isn't perfect.

What we could do is to always work on it to make our marriage as happy and fulfilling as we could.  We both agree that respect and love are the foundations of our relationship.  And that makes me so thankful.  I still get up in the morning every day, utterly grateful to God that both of us, from two opposite ends of the earth, have found each other.  Two of us with similar values and interests have managed to chance upon each other in an obscure website and take a leap of faith to promise to grow old together as husband and wife.  And here we are, one year in, happy as ever and in love.  May this be the first of many...    

This takes getting used to

The past few days since the last blog post hasn't been good for us.  Pete had fever during the entire time.  His body was really hot and he was sweating even though it was cold.  I didn't have a fever but I wasn't feeling well either.  We both tried to stay indoors the whole time, but I had to go to school.

I didn't miss any lesson since the school is not too far away for me to walk there.  Also, the weather has gotten to the rest of the class as well.  Some of my classmates has been ill.  We haven't had full attendance this whole week.  Our teacher took it easy with us so it wasn't as tiring. 

This weather thing is going to take a lot of getting used to.  I have to learn to dress warm enough so that I don't get too cold outdoors but not too warm indoors.  Sometimes I find myself sweating when I am indoors with all my layers.  I am usually early for class and in the mornings, the class would be locked so I had to wait in the hallway for the teacher to arrive.  I would definitely need to take off my jacket because I would start sweating if I don't.

I guess the cooling and heating up of the body wasn't good for me.  A few days of that could have caused me to develop my cold.  I'm still nursing my cold - no change yet.  But it's Saturday tomorrow so I can rest more and get more sleep.

I am not the only one trying to cope with the weather.  My classmates from Asia also had issues with the cold.  After school, we would walk home together.  In this weather, we all would be bundled up in our winter jackets, hunching our bodies as we tried to brace ourselves against the wind.  We must have been a funny sight!  Once, while we were walking and shivering, we passed  by a group of kids outside the school.  They were only in jeans and t-shirts.  We all looked at them in disbelief.

One day.  One day, I'll be able to do that.  But I'll take it step by step.  I'll start by trying not to take 10 minutes just to get outdoors.    

Truffle in the kitchen

Two weeks ago, a very good friend of mine stayed at our place for three days.  He had spent three weeks in Germany and some other European countries nearby.  He visited us for awhile before continuing his journey to the northern parts of Sweden, Finland and Norway.  When he got to our place, he had some gifts for us - fine chocolates, a cute cuckoo clock fridge magnet and two very special items, truffle salt and truffle oil. 

Truffles are a luxury that I rarely get to indulge in.  In fact, I don't think I've ever really had truffle anything.  But I have seen truffle oil or salt being used either in food shows or some fancy restaurants.  They are used as finishing touches and when the chefs drizzle the oil or sprinkle the salt, people would go 'Wow'.  I do wonder how much of a difference tiny drops or sprinkles of the stuff would make in a dish.  I haven't had the opportunity to use them yet.  My cooking is more rustic than refined so I don't really go collecting recipes that would call for such frivolous ingredients. 

Somehow, this morning, I decided I would like to try and use them.  We were having boiled eggs with bread, butter and cheese for breakfast.  I usually butter the bread, place some thin slices of cheese and pull the egg apart and place it on top.  A sort of simple open-faced sandwich.  Though simple, I love how the ingredients combine to make a tasty dish.  This morning, on impulse, I opened the tiny bottle of salt to sprinkle some over my eggs.  The moment I opened the jar, the aroma of the white truffles permeated the kitchen.  An earthy scent filled the kitchen.  I used a scant amount, not even a pinch, and took a bite.  Yumm.  The salty earthiness gave it an extra dimension to the sandwich.  Umami.  Now I understood that word.

In the afternoon, I was heating up a simple potato and leek soup I made yesterday.  I added some corn for some extra crunch and decided to use the truffle oil to pump up the flavour.  After ladling out the soup into bowls, I drizzled mine with a bit of the oil.  Again, the smell of the white truffle was overwhelming.  But when I mixed that in with the soup, the flavour of the soup was lifted and made the humble soup more than it is.  I compared my pimped up soup to Pete's plain one and I could tell the difference.  His was nice but dull, while mine had that oomph of umami.

It's amazing how such a small amount of mushroom could impart such flavour.  In fact, Pete was surprised that the truffle salt had only 0.3% of white truffle.  I was surprised too.  Pleasantly.  I am so happy to have such an indulgent ingredient that I can use.  Although I don't have that much, a little goes a long way.  If you do have amazing friends who gives away such delicious presents, treasure them (your friends).  And use them (the truffle oil or salt).  The truffle oil and salt really pushes your dishes over the edge.     

Reunited!

The whole entourage arrived safely this afternoon - my parents, sister, aunt and cousin.  They were in high spirits and even my dad was sprightly as he pushed the loaded trolley through the exit.  Even though they didn't get much sleep during the 17 hour journey, they didn't show their weariness.  Once we got out of the airport to get to the taxi, they shivered slightly.  It was a bit cold even though there was the sun in the sky.  I guess they have to learn to get used to the colder climate.

The journey back to our apartment was nice and scenic.  They got to see the lovely views of the farms and cute houses and even one of the Ikea stores here.  We managed to get everyone into the apartment after braving the wind which always seem to get strong around this part of Malmo.  They rested a bit with some water and delish Geisha candy. 

That perked them a bit and then they unpacked all the goodies they brought with them.  The whole apartment smells of spices since they bought a lot of spices that they thought would be hard to get here.  And they were right.  Some of the wonderful stuff that I really love include Indonesian and Malaysian raw crackers, pappadum, homemade Malay snack of sambal peanuts and ikan bilis, a type of tiny dried fish, and many types of instant mixes for some favourite Asian dishes.

I also got a lot of presents, not only from them, but also from other friends.  Two of them are scrapbook albums, one big, lovely one, full of pictures of my wedding and a tiny, gorgeous handmade one, full of pictures of me and my friends.  I haven't opened any other presents.  Peter said to save them for Saturday, so now here they are in front of me, begging to be opened.  But I'm happy just being together with my family again.  I'll save the presents for later.

We had to go to the garden to water the plants and do some more work on the wind-protection screen and my sister and cousin decided to come along.  The walk, to them, was far.  That was exactly how I felt the first time I went there, but it was a nice, sunny but cool day, so it was a comfortable walk.  On our way back, I thought it would be nice to stop and pick some flowers for the apartment, so we stopped and selected a variety of lovely blooms.  We also stopped by the store nearby to get some stuff, including cough medicine for my cousin who suddenly developed dry cough when she arrived at the airport.

Once through the door, I could smell something familar and comforting - curry.  My mum was in the kitchen cooking a pot of chicken curry.  Ahhh....it really reminds me of home.  It's such a nice feeling to go home to mum's cooking. Then, it was just a period of relaxing as we ate the curry with bread and also some local chocolates as we watched Portugal beat Denmark.  They tried to watch the next match, Germany vs Holland, but during the half time, we pulled out the sofa bed and soon, everyone's asleep.

It's been a long day for them.  I wonder what we'll be doing tomorrow.  I still have things to do for Saturday's event so maybe they can help me with that.  I probably should go to bed as well.  Till tomorrow, then.

A pleasant surprise

It was a nice sunny day today so we were out the whole afternoon.  When we got home, a pleasant surprise was waiting for me.  The mailman left a postcard for me from a very dear friend of mine.  The best part was in the card.  He is going to visit me very soon, next Friday, in fact.

I am so excited and can't wait for next week to come.  My family will be arriving here next Wednesday.  That includes my parents, sister, cousin and aunt.  The next day, another cousin will arrive.  After that, another sister and this friend of mine will be arriving on the same day. 

For now, we're busy arranging for transport to fetch them from the airport and their accomodations.  We are also planning the itinerary for my family.  Not only that, since there's quite a lot of people visiting us, we have to think about transport since they all cannot fit into one car.  Most likely, we'll have to take the bus.  I  plan to bring them all over Malmo.  There are a number of parks I would like to show them.  There are also a few squares around town that I would like to bring them to as well.

It's been more than a month since I last saw them.  I know it's not that long ago, but I am going to treasure every single minute I have with them.  We plan to go back home every year to visit my family, but it will depend on our situation after a year, of course.  With us embarking on a new business in the near future, I am not sure if that plan is possible.  We'll just have to see how that works out.

But I am not going to worry about that as yet.  For now, I am going to be busy getting the apartment in order.  Knowing my mum, she's going to be expecting a clean and clutter-free home, so I'll be up to my elbows in warm soapy water from now till next week.    

I am home

I am home.  

The moment I stepped off the plane, I knew where to go, how long it’ll take at the immigration - which was always a brief, cursory glance at my face and then a quick stamp on my passport – and where Pete would be waiting for me.

When Pernilla drove us across the Öresundsbron, I could see the flat, green fields and the blue sky of Malmö.  I knew in a few minutes, I’d be greeted by the strong, cold winds as I walk up to the door leading to our apartment.  

And sure enough, my teeth were chattering as I waited for Pete to unlock the main door for us to get into the building.  We waited patiently for the old elevator to make its way down and loaded up my suitcases and bags and soon we’re in the cosy lil’ apartment, where some of my stuff are already waiting for me.

I am home.

But it wasn’t an easy journey.  It was so very difficult to leave my old home of 37 years.  Not the place.  I wouldn’t really miss the place much.  But I couldn’t bear to leave my family and friends.  The scene back at the airport that I left behind was hard to replay in my head.  But that was what I kept remembering throughout the 12hour flight, which explains my swollen eyes at the end.

It was especially hard to leave my mum and sister.  I guess we girls are very close.  I can’t even write about them now without tearing up.  Yes. The wounds are still fresh.  

I didn’t expect to cry as much when I was saying goodbye to my aunts, cousins and friends, though.  And I didn’t expect them to cry that much either.  I know I’ll miss all of them.  We have all shared many, many memories but I never expected them to be so affected by my move.  I guess I didn’t expect that this decision I’ve made with Pete could affect other people as well.  

But we all must look ahead.  They have to get used to doing things without me.  And I…I have plenty more things to adjust to.  Though the changes I will be going through could and would be tough, I know I can do it because I have my Pete with me. 

Yes.  I am home.